Expand your Emotional Capabilities

Have you noticed that some individuals seem to have the same emotional reaction to anything that comes their way? In my work, I occasionally come across people who seem to only have two emotions; self-satisfaction when they get exactly what they think they want; and irritation, indignation or resistance towards everything else.

When you have only one or two emotions to draw from, you create a world that is incredibly limited. After all, most people’s normal response to persistent resistance is to either “work around you” or “force you”. Lacking personal insight, you might think you are surrounded by incompetent co-workers and leaders. But, in truth, by limiting your emotional responses,  you are creating a world that seems perpetually uncooperative whenever you are disappointed.
 

Creating open, trusting, engaging, and collaborative relationships at work and at home depends on our ability to draw on a much broader array of emotions. This is essential to allowing us to “keep in perspective” the emotions that drain us and encourage the emotions that open us up intellectually. Then we can look for the best in people, forgive their human frailties and continue to try to connection, even though progress might be disappointingly slow.

Practice Tip

This month, every time you feel yourself upset that a meeting isn’t going to your liking, annoyed that your input didn’t carry the day, feeling resistance to someone’s overture to improve a situation…stop, check your reaction, and seek out a different emotional response than your usual fallback of irritation and resistance.  See how the world can shift right before your very eyes as you open up and allow others a different way to interact with you.

Do you have a question for Patti? Send an email to patti@pattilind.com and it may be answered in next month's newsletter.